I left this blog alone for far too long, I got caught up in million other things. It felt like another project I have started but never let it move forward and get distracted by other things. It sounds like me, but it’s a bad habit I am trying to run away from.
Last week I posted a blog about what it is like to be twenty something year old bisexual on Tinder, which is something I wanted to talk about for a while and it felt really good to get it out of my system. Also, it was an important mile stone; it was first time I talked about being a bisexual openly where I knew that my family could see it.
On the other hand this post is not about that.
This blog post is about the new direction I want this blog to take… Recently, my life got filled with bunch of amazing people that have touched my heart, and made me feel feelings that I have not felt for very long time and I want to embrace it.
This blog will no longer be about how I am trying to fall out of love with the Man Who Got Away (MWGA). I think I have successfully managed that.
MWGA is still a big part of my life; I don’t think I will ever stop caring about him. I will probably always have that ‘what if’ feeling somewhere deep inside. At the same time I don’t want this to change, because the person I am today is because I have met him and he brought so many amazing things and experiences into my life.
A few months ago, I was at his house doing something and he walked past me and hugged me or touched me and I just said to him: ‘’you still make my vagina tingle’’ in most normal everyday voice. I know that he and i will always have a strange connection. Maybe the reasons for both of us are different but it doesn’t change the fact.
He is a big part of my life, big part of forming my views on sex, sexuality and gender norms. I will never be the same as I was a year and a half ago when I met him. I also know that he and I will never agree on politics. I know that I can be a massive dick to him, but I know that we always seem to overcome this and stay friends.I am forever grateful for that to him.
Furthermore, I am happy that when I was able to stop look at him as a sexual human being I am finally able to get to know him as a person, even though I know we are so different and never agree on anything. I would like him to know that it’s amazing to get to know him as a human being and it’s amazing to care about him passed the sexual tension..
The new direction
This blog will now be about me and my journey. I will document the journey of self-discovery via learning about me, sexuality, people, politics, art and other things that always been close to my heart.
It will no longer be about me trying to please other people or trying to live other people lives. It will be about me and what I actually like and what I actually enjoy.
Also, at the beginning someone used to proof read my blogs, but I think it’s not fair for me to keep asking people to do this for me and that why I struggled to post regularly. So, I will be doing this all by myself. Which, I imagine will make a lot of mistakes. If you see them and they bother you please let me know! It’s the only way I can learn, so any comments and feedback will be appreciated.